Okay, so this life - this Rubik's Cube of a life that I'm working - isn't working.
Or it's working, intermittently. Sometimes it's great. Frequently. It's frequently great. Fun, stimulating, manageable. I'm pleased to report good things - we're getting the sleep we need, I've been meeting my goals at the gym and eating much better. I wore some pants the other day that haven't fit since 2004.
Other times, it takes a ridiculously high percentage of my energy to just keep it together. To stay caught up - and I mean, sometimes, just barely caught up - at work; to be minimally civil to the man I love; to keep the little darling warm and fed and not hurling himself out into traffic. The fight for clean underwear could be lost at any moment.
My best friend, like many of my friends, started down this 'motherhood' road many years before I did - her daughter is a teenager now. Her advice has been 'lower your standards'.
To which I reply - excuse me, have you met me? Have you seen our house? Exactly how much lower are my standards going to go?
I have work to do - I took the day off from church, but I have a draft plan that needs typing up -but here I am, blogging, watching Cold Case, which I don't even like that much.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
Because whoever you are, you're doing this too — this thing where you're trying to solve the Rubik's Cube of your life, consolidating one color without screwing up the rest of them; where you're like Wile E. Coyote sprinting off the cliff and through the air, trying to put off the moment when you notice the absence of ground and plummet downwards, trying not to, say, leave one child behind in a stroller at an airport checkpoint because you were busy counting the luggage (ahem). Things can make it easier, of course: a flexible job, good and affordable childcare, health insurance, financial resources, a supportive partner and/or a devoted community of friends. But the only way to make it actually all work, as you surely know, is to pay attention to one thing at a time.
Seriously - is this possible?