Sunday, July 16, 2006

The Plan

My child spent most of last night explaning his plan to me. That would be his 60,000-Point Plan to Stay Awake for the Rest of His Life.

Here is the plan:

Point 1) Don't go to sleep tonight.
Point 2) Don't go to sleep tomorrow night.
Points 3 though 60,000) Don't go to sleep the night after that.

Naturally, I suggested revisions. He would have none of it.

First, I tried to explain the elegant, almost poetic simplicity of just sticking with Point One; that would cover it. He patiently explained to me that history had never been made with a measley One-Point Plan.

I switched direction at that point, and tried to convince him that he could just limit himself to Point Two. (Much as Satan himself convinces people that "I'll go to the gym tomorrow" is a good excercise plan.) Alas, he stood firm. Well, not 'stood', exactly. But he was quite firm.

Eventually, though, all the talking and the literary analysis took its toll (as it always does) and he started to look kind of glazed. A little breastmilk and a quick backrub was all it took to overcome The Plan.

For that night.

1 comment:

april said...

betsy, your blog totally cracks me up. knowing you, im willing to bet you are actually physically saying all those things to him, which for some reason seems so hilarious to me.